Why volunteering creates stress in mind? One helps in Buddhist
centre, helping the chief abbot/chief nun, helping
other monks/nuns, helping yogis, helping this and that. If one refuses to help, people say one becomes more selfish, more egoist!
I notice a lot of volunteers, whether
renunciates or
meditators, do not have happy face or cheerful face, but stressed face and tired face. Actually, they suffer from 'compassionate fatigue' or 'volunteering burnout'.
They feel tired, and cannot have time to meditate. When they do sitting meditation, they
feel asleep due to tiredness and cannot have mindfulness and concentration on the meditation objects.
They help people to get Dhamma, but they seem to lose the peacefulness and happiness in
Dhamma.
Sometimes I wonder, if volunteering work really can bring happiness and
peacefulness to the mind!
I also do lots of charity work, Dhamma work. If I work with
right people, then things are okay! But if I work with
wrong people, people who are demanding, insisting on their way, then I also suffer. Because I feel it is 'not nice' to reject their needs and wishes since they also helping in Dhamma work. Their
behaviours create stress in my mind.
What is the meaning behind doing so much volunteering work? Is it to fulfill the
parami (perfection)? Or because we really want to help others? Or
simply we want to kill the time?
or because our 'ego' or 'self' wants to be a useful self in this life?
or we need more self-esteem in one self?
The answers can be many, ranging to making this self useful, or simply to really the wish to help people.
As long as we have good motivation or
cetana (intention) to help others, this good deed will create
good kammic result in this life and next lives.
But if we are
overstressed, and our energy is overspent, then we have
aversion, anger or even hatred. Then we might even gain unwholesome effect due to our negative minds and emotions. So we get plus points for volunteering, then minus points for our anger and ill-will.
Whatever is it, always be mindful of own intention, energy and wish. We also have to see our level of energy. Sometimes as we get older, our energy
become less.
Also when we are not healthy, then we get irritated easily.
If we are lacking the power even to save the peacefulness in own mind, maybe it is time to consider if volunteering work is too much.
It is good to '
take leave' from volunteering work. Just simply go to a meditation
centre, spend one month in meditation doing nothing by sitting, walking and noticing daily activities, then we might get back our enthusiasm in volunteering or charity work.
